All of Me
by Ghostly Deeds
Summary: SongFic! Arthur reflects on his feelings of Alfred and why the younger just cannot understand. Rated M, for upcoming second part that will have some Fluffy smut. I do not own the song "My Immortal" By Evanescence.


_**A/N: So this popped into my head for no reason. I like it, though it's a bit sad. DX However, I do not own Hetalia, nor the song in this fic. BoyxBoy and future smut.**  
_

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

The soft pitter patter of rain awoke Arthur once again. He hadn't been sleeping well the past few weeks because of all the nightmares he'd been having. These nightmares were of the fateful day that Alfred left him. Even after a century, the Englishman couldn't seem to forget the younger male. Turning over, he tried to go back to bed.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Groaning as he sat up in bed, Arthur looked out the window and sighed. "Dammit," he growled and walked to the kitchen. He slowly made himself a cup of tea. His eyes were blank, showing he was hiding his emotion from view. Alfred walked out of his room, the two of them having become roommates since the start of the war. Because of the chaos at home and the need for nearly everyday meetings, this had become the norm for the two nations.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have_

_All of me_

"Dude, What're you doing up," Alfred slurred, rubbing his eyes, "It's like…4 in the morning." The Englishman didn't look at the other man as he said blankly, "It's nothing. Go back to bed."

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

"Dude, I know you. I know you like your sleep. I know you just don't sit in the living room drinking tea at four in the morning," Alfred said, cornering the small man at the counter. The Englishman sipped his tea, blank green eyes staring into blue ones. "I said it was nothing, besides we haven't lived together in a long time. I've changed," Arthur said, putting the empty tea cup in the sink. He pushed past the larger male and walked back into his room, knowing Alfred wouldn't understand where he was coming from. He sat back down onto his bed and listened to make sure the American was going back into his bedroom.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Tears started to fall from the Englishman's eyes as he found the house quiet once again. How much longer would he have to deal with this pain? The pain of knowing he could never hold America again, never wipe his tears, share his fears, or even be normal again. The knife in his heart would twist and turn, making Arthur feel like he was dying yet again. Like he felt just after Alfred left.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

Not hearing the door open, Arthur continued to cry, holding his knees to his chest. It wasn't until someone sat on the edge of the bed, that he looked up. The blonde Brit saw through his tears that it was Alfred. The green eyed male buried his face into his knees again, saying a weak, "Go away."

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

"No," Alfred defied. He placed a large calloused hand on Arthur's leg, earning a glare from the British man. "Tell me what's wrong Artie," the American man pulled the smaller man's knees away, trying to get him to open up.

Arthur sighed before finally relinquishing a defeated, "You," before curling himself into a tighter ball. Alfred was taken aback. He never would've guessed that his old caretaker was upset over him. "Artie…I-," the blonde said nervously, "I don't understand." That took Arthur back. Back to a time when that question was a daily occurrence from the younger blonde.

"Alfred," Arthur said, "If you don't understand now, how could I possibly tell you my deepest feelings, expecting you to understand them then?" Green eyes darted to look into blue ones for a few seconds, before looking away. "Just go…" Arthur said, not looking. A hurt and confused Alfred got up and left quietly, wanting so bad to admit the feelings he harbored as well. The door closed after the tall blonde, leaving Arthur to sob alone.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_


End file.
